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For a long time, I grieved the loss of who I was before. Not to mention, I didn’t actually know who I was anymore. I just wanted life to get back to normal. Unfortunately, normal was not an option. I didn’t know what was normal after my terror.  I had worked so hard to finally get to a place of freedom and peace in my life.  My childhood had Struggles I was blessed to overcome.  Was all that work for nothing?  I lost again!

Healing through the pain, Ella rose design maui

The Nightmare In my Dreams

I had been broken from a young age. From being separated from my brothers and mostly left out due to my brothers, to name two of the hardest  for me.  I was never to speak of this, my parents said to me at just 6 years old. “Just put it out of your mind,” they said. “It never happened. The elders will handle it so it’s ok. Just don’t tell anyone or ever bring it up again!” I don’t blame my parents for not getting me the help I needed to handle the things my family split up & I had experienced. How were they supposed to know that pain would become so bad, and buried so deep, that over 10 years later what seemed like a bad dream was my memory replaying that experience over and over in my mind everytime I closed my eyes! 

Healing through the pain, Ella Rose Design Maui, Fashion for a cause

By the time I was a teenager, it was as if I couldn’t even really remember what I was feeling. All I wanted to do was stop my crazy and end the pain. It took a long time before I remembered what had happened and realized I wasn’t imagining this. It was real.  All the bullying and judgments, combined with losing my older brothers to name a few,  the hell started when I was 6! 

Healing through the pain, Ella rose design maui,

I wasn’t supposed to speak of it so I forgot it, sort of. I had been so strong for so long that I just couldn’t do it anymore. I needed answers and an explanation for what they were thinking and why they would do that. As I laid in a hospital bed, I was told “we did it to protect you. We didn’t want to make you keep remembering it over and over.” But it was bound to come out eventually, as all secrets do. 

Healing through the pain, Ella rose design maui, Fashion for a cause, Trauma survivor

Always Remember Forgiveness is for you & the Start

As I began my healing, I realized I could do something more, rather than sit on the sidelines. I could try to be the change we need now more than ever! In one of my later articles, I’m willing to go more into detail about my experience suffering from CPTSD or check out https://ellaroedesignmaui.com/intheblinkofaneye for the detailed experience that caused it.   My goal here is to explain my reasons for wanting to change how we deal with abuse and mental illness in this country and world. It truly has become an epidemic. 

Healing through the pain, Ella rose design maui

We must help each other stand up for the truth and what’s right. I believe there’s a strong parallel between tragedy, abuse, and mental illness. I believe the reason so many suffer now is due to the traumas they have faced but never shared, and the pressure they feel to keep those secrets. The result is rearing its ugly head as a mental illness that needs to be dealt with. I want to banish the “boys will be boys” and “you must have asked for it” excuses. It’s not a coincidence how far the #metoo movement has gone. But that’s not the only reason for the suffering women experience. What about all the other losses and oppositions. It’s all building up to a climax that needs to be stopped!


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We need a revolution

I’m begging you all to join me in a movement to help women who need our help. If you take away one thing, let it be this: each person’s needs and experiences are different. A one-size-fits-all solution doesn’t work. 

Healing through the pain, Ella rose design maui,

Let Love Heal the Pain

Let’s just show that love always prevails! As humans, we can choose to rise above the negative and lift each other in prayers, kindness, and support. If anyone needs help or a friend I’m available 24/7 as a listening ear and voice of comfort and support.  Let’s all do are part to end stigmas killing many suffering in silence!  You could save a life!

Healing through the pain, Ella rose design maui

Practice Kindness and Compassion

Immagine How amazing you could feel by only making small tweaks to your routine.  Its incredible how inaccurate the common misconceptions are for those suffering mental illness and trauma survivors.  One example is the fear of violence.  The Reality is less than 4% are ever violent, they may be loud as they are having a mental break.  That’s an extremely low percent, especially when the suffering become 50% more likely to become victims of violence and crime.  The Statistics are staggering.  Can you believe that 98% of the population in our jails and prisons throughout our entire country are individuals suffering mental illness convicted of nonviolent Crimes.  The reality is while in jails or prisons there not receiving any help including the necessary need for representation that cares to genuinely  help.  This results in their time spent in the facility being almost double a person not suffering from mental health. 

There’s actually more mentally ill and trauma survivors in the criminal justice system then there are in the mental health facilities able to provide treatment.  Many who suffer aren’t as well equipped to Heal through the pain, rather these conditions can exacerbate the condition.  

Struggles to heal the pain
Healing through the pain, Ella rose design maui

Do you know some of the most successful ways to help these individuals suffering?  Its astonishing to me the simplicity of defusing many of the incidents.  Yet most have know idea and are often scared due to the misleading stigmas, including many are violent.  I’m not believing that with a proven less than 4% who ever turn to violence, while becoming over 50% more likely to become the victims of violence and crimes.  How terrifying do you think those statistics are and alarming to the mentally ill?  Its proven that showing kindness and compassion to the suffering will make a drastic change in the interactions.  That’s right both free and actually the only acceptable way to treat the suffering!  

Healing through the pain, Ella rose design maui,

Please join me in practicing kindness and compassion for all to try to help limit the trauma and injustice often put on our society’s severely discriminated agents.  Both freel and really how we need to be treating each and every person we meet!  Please, I ask you to help end the unfair stigma causing fear for many youth to seek help.  The no willingness to seek help is increasing our number of suicides to a staggering amount!  

Healing through the pain, Ella rose design maui

As I struggle daily to heal myself through the pain.  Part of my healing is to advocate and educate more to help end the injustice taking place now.  There’s no high risk sector of society that’s got all the cards stacked against them as those suffering mental illness and trauma survivors.  Please, I beg next time you’re in a situation or dealing with a victim of this crisis; try to see how much smoother it goes by treating them kindly and practicing compassion.  We can make a drastic impact with simply these two practices regularly!    

Mahalo!

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